Tuesday, October 21, 2014


Lately I have been thinking a lot about change.
Isn't it crazy how well we as humans deal with change? We change everyday. Our lives change every second. We could be on one path today and another path tomorrow depending on the choices we make.
College has been a completely new experience for me. I lived the small town life for 18 years in Logandale, Nevada. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I was related to half the town. Most people in Logandale have known me since I was a baby. They have seen the change that has happened in my life constantly. Then I moved to Cedar City, Utah, a slightly bigger college town, to attend Southern Utah University. I never imagined I would ever come to Cedar. In fact, I remember distinctly saying that I would never attend SUU. It was just too close to my small town (an hour and fourty-five minute drive). However, one day my path changed and I am so grateful that it has.
Everyday as I make my way from school to my apartment and walk underneath the trees with their beautiful changing leaves that lean over old, cracked sidewalks, and the contrast of the purple mountains in the background, I count my blessings. I have so many blessings to count! Although it was never in my plans to attend SUU, I am so incredibly grateful for this path the Lord has lead me onto.
Certain circumstances in my life changed right before I moved up to Cedar. I am not afraid to admit that those circumstances were very hard for me. My life had completely changed once again. Those circumstances left me feeling broken and alone. It didn't help that I really was alone in a new "home" and in a new town. I no longer had my family constantly around me to comfort me through my trials. There were so many moments where I would break down and cry, feeling like someone had literally just smashed all my happiness in seconds. I couldn't breath. I couldn't eat. For short periods I felt happiness and hope, but those feelings would instantly leave me. I prayed more during that first week in Cedar than I ever have in my life.
Eventually, it all got better. I had this chance to start over, to recreate myself, to be a better, more giving person. Someone who could make a change in other peoples lives through small acts. I made it a goal to focus on others and be more aware of those around me. My testimony grew so much. Even though I was hurt and broken, I somehow managed to take a step back and see all of the blessings in my life. It's all about perspective. When I needed it, the Lord sent me comfort through people. I understood what was most important in life: family, friends, and the gospel of Jesus Christ.
This trial I went through? It was probably the best thing that could have happened to me at this point in my life. I needed to get out of my spiritual slump. I think I settled spiritually for a little while. I wasn't doing anything wrong, but I also wasn't trying to do better. I needed to be completely independent and rely on the Lord. I needed to let pride go. I needed to learn patience and find hope. And I have.
I have found true happiness. I found the Lord again. I found myself.
Change is a wonderful thing.

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